Fisiting dildos and mimes

When was the last time you fisted? Do you remember that scene in Pee-wee Herman's Big Adventure when the pet store was burning down? Do you remember how Pee-wee saved all the animals but left the snakes for last because he was afraid of them? I have to admit, that is kind of how I am about fisting toys. They are always looming over me at the warehouse. I walk past them when I go to the bathroom. I see them when I fill my water bottle. They make me feel strange. Maybe it's because we have several file boxes full of them -- different colors, different shapes, different sizes. They lay there like some mad man just amputated the arms from a room full of angry fisted people, then packaged them for our pleasure. I am still not sure if that's why, but fisting toys are one of the few things in life that still scare me the way shadows in closets scare children. Fisting dildos and mimes.

I'm not opposed to fisting. I know lots of people who really love it. At Hump! 4, Seattle's very public amateur porn festival, I witnessed someone stick their entire arm into a vagina. The crowd applauded in sincere recognition of the talent. I was just as amused as my friends and neighbors, but I quietly thought to myself, "I could not do that." Partly because I don't have a vagina, but partly because I just can't fit huge things in my butt. I just can't. I later saw the star of the film at the co-op. I nearly dropped my basket full of cucumbers because I was and always will be in awe.

I hate that I'm still scared of certain things. I work on my fears. My fear of heights was once so crippling I could not move. I kept trying to climb higher places anyway. Now my fear is less crippling and more hilarious to my friends. I think it's because when I'm on a really high hill I walk like I'm on a balancing beam even if there is plenty of land surrounding me. As you can see, I improved. So if I were to improve my fear of fisting, where would I start?

Instead of quickly rushing past the fisting toys this morning, I took a moment to examine each one of them with the eye of someone who was ready to try something new. I chose a fist and dragged it back to my desk like a lion with his gazelle. My trophy was the Doc Johnson Belladonna's Magic Hand. I chose it because the fingers come together in a teepee like shape, instead of a balled up fist. I just didn't feel quite ready for the fist. I imagined that it would be easier to fit the teepee finger tips into a butt or a vagina for someone who has never tried fisting before. I imaged with plenty of lube it would slide right in.

So here it is. Sitting on my desk. Waiting for my first fisting experience. Now all I have to do is find a mime willing to let me use it on them.






Mime photo by 摩根 via Flickr®

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